My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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