So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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