guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
This baby is an asshole
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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