dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
vagina is talking i cant
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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