Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize