wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
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