PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
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