All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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