Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Randomize
