Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
