I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize