His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Randomize