i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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