I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
birth control should be required to get into college
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Can I color on your dick again?
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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