Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
