I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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