Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Randomize
