I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
only if we run a train.
done.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Randomize