went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
