i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
Randomize
