Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
operation harelip BJ is a go
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
