I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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