I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
