we have pet lesbian snakes
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Found the puke drawer
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
