so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
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I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
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Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Are these your boobs on my camera?
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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