Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Why is your signature on my underwear?
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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