I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Randomize
