anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
