I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
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