I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
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