38 yer olds are good kisserssss
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize