I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Randomize
