Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
