I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
