you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
We need to get me chipped asap
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
