He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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