Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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