Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
