Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
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