There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Randomize
