she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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