You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Randomize
