Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
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