new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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