I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
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