Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Betty ford says i'm here all night
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
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