On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
