dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
Randomize
