Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
just come out here and I will go home with you...
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
