I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
