But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
Randomize
