oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
