So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
