last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
no you cant smoke seaweed
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Randomize
