What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
