even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
