It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize