Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Randomize
