I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
honey bunches of taint.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Randomize
