Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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