Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
