That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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